Today, I found myself a bit spiritually sluggish you might say, more than a bit unmotivated to sit down and focus a portion of my time on what God had for me. I secluded myself, turned on worship numerous times, and could manage to sort through some of the ramblings of my head to form a few prayers. But, still restless, it was difficult for me to break through that wall to really encounter my King. I was starting to get frustrated, asking for God to search my heart and reveal anything hindering me from just sitting with Him. But, I found no peace. So, I got up, went to the living room, where my Mom handed me a few random items and asked if I would take them to the trash. So, I slipped on a pair of shoes and made my way outside. As soon as I stepped from the door, I saw a robin directly in front of me, sitting contently in the grass as if it had been waiting on me. At first, I thought nothing of it, gave it a quick glance and continued making my way to the dumpster. This little bird, peculiarly began to hop lightly after me, following me the whole way down the cement walk to the driveway. I stopped for a second to marvel at its bravery, but quickly turned back, a woman set on her trash mission. The bird chirped, and I distinctly heard God say to me, "Courtney, that robin was just for you. Do you not delight in her?" Ouch. The creator of all things had been orchestrating the path of this bird before I had even stepped outside, and was gently urging it forward to follow me when I had ignored it. No big deal. It was just another bird, I saw those everyday, and didn't think much of it. It was then I realized how desensitized I had become to the simple delights through which the Lord so often paints the portrait of our day. I had seen it as just another brushstroke, when He had asked me to come closer and survey the beauty of the most recent movement of His hand. Having by now rid myself of the trash, I turned around to see she had followed me the entire way, and was now happily singing and skipping back to the house right by my foot. I looked at her and laughed at my pretty new companion, and thanked God for my new friend who reminded me to marvel at life. Its easy to see God when something big happens and rejoice at His goodness. But this got me to thinking, how often do we miss the thousands of ways he displays his goodness daily? In Lamentations it says he longs to be gracious to us, and so often he is, even if we're blinded to it by the mundane tasks that each day brings. I took it upon myself to research Robins, asking God, why this bird? What did your heart desire to say to me through her? What did I find? A robin marks a new beginning, being the first bird to make an appearance after a long winter, bringing Spring and warmth on her wings. God is so good. One Thing and the events that happened throughout the trip catapulted me into a new beginning in deeper ways than I could describe here. I feel completely new, like a different human. A stronger, more beautiful Courtney than ever before. Instead of crawling, I feel like I'm running in the spiritual. He unlocked my roar, and has raised me up in my royal title as His daughter. Its indescribable, I feel like I could take on the world! I'm stepping in my purpose, and this is a new beginning. 2011 was BANANAS, and the start of 2012 promises this to be a year unlike any I've lived before. Its the beginning of my life. I'm graduating college, I'm moving on, and I have a sneaking suspicion that this year will be a harvest of change. My winter is finally ending. I felt as though it was, but God made special arrangements with this obedient little bird, to promise me that the ice frozen around my heart and spirit for about 6 years now, the cold that has fogged the color of who Courtney was created to be, has thawed out. Spring and her grandeur is coming quickly, with the newness of a fresh start and explosions of delicate beauty. I was restless because all God wanted to do was speak, but not in the way I was expecting. I love that about Him. He knows I LOVE surprises, but He delights in going a step beyond and blowing me away with how personal he chooses to love me. He longs to do the same for you. So, today, don't miss out on the robins. I promise its worth stopping for a second, because the big picture of His face is found in the individual brushstrokes. :) I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite books, "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe:"
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.
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